Washing the shame away…

© Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved

Tonight was another proverbial milestone in the degeneration of fantasy roleplaying to me. I had searched the Internet for a list of free adventures for some of the systems which kept themselves alive longer than any one hit wonder or fraud scheme.

The Shallowing. Yes, I call it that. The life-lesson repetitiveness of the questions and insights we would have never wasted our youth upon:

  • “Why did the roleplaying scene degenerate into a diseased bunch of drug-crazed, socially semi-dysfunctional idiots?” It did not, it has never been anything but that.

  • “Why does some obvious lunatic or child-molesting pervert get away with milking the big money while I stay lowest on the cash flow?” Does not matter, as I have to work jobs like anybody else, and it will never be me to command the law enforcement on planet Earth either. 😉

  • My favorite: “How could a woman both gorgeous and well-educated allow her false friends to drag her back down into the worst nightmare one can mix from drug abuse, mental disorders, and rolling dice?” Simply because she did. Maybe lack of social skills or lack of vigilance, maybe naivety or dark ambition clouding her judgment.

Lack of care is called quickness these days. Easy to be fast, when 90% of the necessary work have not been done at all. I dislike that. Dishing half-finished computer games as a full product does sell nowadays, too. OK. Writing plagiarized roleplaying adventures without the minimum effort every criminal of my age would have invested to disguise the product and the person as legitimate authorship is SO bygone. Much like the sanity of those fuck-ups. The Unappreciated haunt society.

Wasted chances, my life and my love affairs are one more unwanted lore-book about that, too. Still wasting the chance to attach “Middle Earth Roleplaying (MERP)” or “The one ring RPG” to the movie successes of the Lord of the Rings saga IS a business failure of greater scale. Merely one example.

Learning to let go. I could still throw a decent temper tantrum frenzy at the “Hanged Man” tarot card. Still it did not happen in decades. People have to make their own experiences, including their failures and setbacks. I was told & taught that often enough. Some people wanted to be rid of me, others I had to remove out of my personal life, as whoever or whatever the guilt factor, the relation was too toxic to ever become functional or beneficial again.

Toxic personalities and toxic magick. The first a life lesson bunch found in psychology, if you were too dumb or ignorant to realize it on your own. The latter a form of magick which culminates in sexual sadism, torture, and murder. There are books published about it, some even proudly psychopathic with their chosen titles.

Kinda turning your mental disorder and lack of social skills into an arsenal of weaponry and murder tools. Much like dangerous stalkers and fans of “invisible crimes or no-touch torture”. Picturesque summary:


Age 45 now. I never thought it would be such a long ordeal. Several options came close to forcing myself into “Death is only the beginning” kinda morgue pilgrimage.

I once claimed that writing, among others, can be a form of emotional exorcism. I can’t verify it worked on this text, as I find it completely superfluous and a waste of my time and effort. Still I could be wrong, or some lonely widow kickstarters money and gifts me a charity part… Sounds more like a fever dream or wishful thinking, as said, I didn’t do minimum wage jobs for fun alone, I did it, as all of us have to stand up and rebuild their life.

Maybe I write another micro-poem now. I clearly found no enticing or inspiring last comment to spice-up this little note.

Thanks for your time!

Rage, an Iteki-Freestyle-Myku-Haiku
© Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved

Today I felt rage
arising from capitalism’s price.
Pollution devours us.



Relations in the social gravity during survival…

Relations in the social gravity during survival
Contemplated by Andrè M. Pietroschek

1. Be reliable.
Be nice, still be reliable. Trust and loyalty are earned through reliability.

2. Compromise.
If you want your way all of the time, stay solo. It’s about finding a healthy balance in compromise. Both people in a relationship must understand that necessity of mutual compromise and sacrifice in a relationship to make it work.

3. It’s healthy to argue.
It’s healthy to bicker. It’s not healthy to have screaming matches. Some couples brag about “never fighting.” That’s nothing to brag about. It probably means that one of you is
holding something back or suppressing it the unhealthy way.

4. It’s not your job to fix the person you love.
You can’t fix them. You can only help them fix themselves.

5. Understand your significant other’s background.
It is important to recognize the person you’re with has not always been that person. They’ve gone or been forced through life’s lessons to make them that person.

6. Do not underestimate the power of thoughtfulness.
Listen. Pay attention. There is nothing more meaningful or memorable than mentioning something in passing and then having your partner bring it back up later.

7. Do not limit expressions of love to grand gestures.
It’s impossible to keep up. Fancy dinners or luxury vacations are wonderful, but love does not have a monetary value.

8. Temper all good advice with caution.
Advice/tips can help, but only you and your partner know what’s right for you and your partner. Don’t take any outside material as an absolute truth.

9. Research and contemplate.
There is nothing wrong with getting some perspective and advice from outside sources.

10. Value each other’s interests.
If you have different interests, which is legitimate but difficult, make sure you value what your partners interests are.

11. If you are not getting something you need, ask for it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Your partner is not a mind reader.

12.Spite will get you nowhere.
If your partner hurts you in a relationship, hurting them back on purpose will likely destroy your relationship. Retaliation should be limited to combat training.

13. Trust your instincts aka intuition.
If you sense that something is wrong, bring it up. 9 times out of 10 your instincts are correct and ignoring them will get you nowhere.

The Satanic Temple – My contemplation

The Satanic Temple – My contemplation

© Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved


This note is offered solely for personal and contemplative purposes. The author and publisher are not offering it as legal, accounting, or other professional services advice. While best efforts have been invested in preparing this version and its sub-context, the author and publisher make no representations or warranties of any kind, and assume no liabilities of any kind with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of safety, functionality, reliability or fitness of use for any specific purpose. Neither the author, nor WordPress, nor The Satanic Temple, shall be held liable or responsible to any person or entity with respect to any loss or incidental or consequential damages caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information, prose, ideas, and opinion contained herein. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. Every personality is different and the worldview, moods, prose, and conclusions contained herein may not be suitable for your situation or anyone’s well-being.

These are the seven fundamental tenets of the TST – The Satanic Temple.

  • One should strive to act with compassion and empathy towards all creatures in accordance with reason.
  • The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
  • One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
  • The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo your own.
  • Beliefs should conform to our best scientific understanding of the world. We should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit our beliefs.
  • People are fallible. If we make a mistake, we should do our best to rectify it and resolve any harm that may have been caused.
  • Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Satanism in this modern age

Decades of my lifespan have been wasted, endured, taken place in a society, which had all the scientific information available, but neither laws guaranteeing that we practice what we preach, nor a majority of people who could profit from overpaid academics and their work-shunning elitism and self-glorification.

We cannot breath money, and we cannot breath science. Neither is getting laid with them a form of good sex. Or of a fulfilled life. Due greed’s idiocy gone unscathed we have arrived in this so-called ‘information-age’ with serious environmental damage not just threatening the future of our own species, but actually contaminating and killing millions of lifeforms.

We have managed to drill kids who excel in school, or later at university, but for the price of life-long psychiatric treatment, as the way it was implemented caused tremendous psycho-social deficiencies and impairments, which are still oft unleashed unto whoever happens to meet such persons. They did not fail to be the idols of society, they were betrayed by the abstract believe and irresponsibility of their own elders, be it by bloodline or political establishment.

Making laws and institutions deliver justice instead of becoming bureaucratic obstacles opposing, undermining, and denying justice, at least to those who can’t pay the big money, has always been a perversion of democratic ideals in my own opinion. That doesn’t mean I would be flawless, or automatically ever-innocent, still it means we all could do a little bit better.

When I first visited the TST website I had only ‘It can’t be that much worse than the next-best La Veyian plagiarizer’ in my mind. The tenets I found are by far not the worst I ever read published by Satanists, or people claiming to be Satanists, and I was a member for a certain time of my life. More than ten seconds, to give a hint.

One of the core principles in magick is summarized by a quote. I add it here:

“Those who treat the art of Magic with spiritual contempt receive exactly what they ask for — and deserve. The true Magi are those who live Magic, and not merely tinker with it. Magicians are not made, they make themselves. That is what this book is about .” Quote from Dr. Israel Regardie

Magicians, even though the term is a very outdated and limited summary for modern occult practitioners, make themselves. Precisely what has always separated us from religion. That was not separatism, it was the nature and truth of the matter by the very facts. There is no extra-cushioned, well-dished time and place for us in the adult world of everyday life, until we produce that due our own work and efforts.

No more magick for the masses

Political parties, communal interest groups, and personal activism, which is received well by our fellow human beings, all have their own demands, their own rules, and their own expectations. We can face the reality of that each time, or flee into drug-crazed, or even proper, spiritual phantasms. Solving problems needs contemplation, education, and efforts.

I once faced that day, when renaming my crappy, crude efforts from ‘Attempted Poetry’ into ‘Committed crimes against the Muse’ seemed a very smart choice… One poem speaking of it, though superficially not Satanic:

American Dream – Extended Revision

© Andrè M. Pietroschek


We served our nation

faced all our demons

worked that old farm.

Now lets get us happy

as our hearts still beat

& our blood’s still warm!


Instead of expecting anybody to need or appreciate my commenting on the seven tenets of the TST I decided for this final comment:

‘Rejoice in every opportunity to overcome your own prejudices and ignoramuses, as the chance to solve problems, the chance to develop as a personality, and the chance to be an active member of the society we live in IS precious, and worthy of some work to maintain and improve it.’

On date of writing this the website of the TST was:


Wuxia Dreams – My note on Wing/Ving Tsun/Chun enthusiasm…

I note this expecting 99,9% antagonism, scepticism, and rejection. I do so for the chosen few who really have to survive a street crime or murder attempt. I am 44 years old, have survived the cold of one winter sleeping on asphalt (as a bum in our supposedly criminal scene), and was a small-scale criminal for around 3 or 4 decades of my lifespan. I stopped, when love and duty became better values to me.

My most adored Sifu and Sihing is life itself, as the crucial lessons always stem from there.

One of the better videos I watched on the main topic here is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SnfZxgup04

My main reason for hating the fakes & frauds on certain topics is that they know they are sending people towards certain death, dire mutilation, and costly abuse. Even more dangerous it is with our own ignorance and delusions. Bloodshed and survival of crime have zero place for comforting egos!

I agree with mature attempts alike: http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/the-truth-about-violence/ 

Still that does not make me an expert on street-survival, crime-prevention, or martial arts. I only practiced Dr. Leung Ting’s Dynamic Wing Tsun in hospital, on the day the doctors told me I would never do martial arts again. I habitually repeat some basics since then.

And on credentials which ain’t really my own achievements: My own most respected teacher was Dieter Knüttel, by now Grandmaster and ‘Bundestrainer’ of Modern Arnis, an armed filipino martial art. I prefer Muay Thai based stuff though. My best MMA teacher so far was a wanted murderer from Poland, who was among the bunch of bums I had to survive with. He was half my weight and nearly crushed my spine with the ease of a ‘throwing technique’ applied properly. But he is imprisoned now.

The bad news is: I have no martial arts product to sell, so those who want to fall prey to me must purchase my poetry ebook or click ‘gift me a coffee’ on my pseudo-landing page.


A cookie-wisdom I contemplated: A good martial artist will know how to save lives, and not just how to cripple and end them!

Beschaffungskriminalität, Gelegenheitsverbrechen & Seuchenschutz – Altenessen Süd

Beschaffungskriminalität, Gelegenheitsverbrechen & Seuchenschutz

© Andrè M. Pietroschek, alle Rechte vorbehalten; QuickFix 1

Der Stadtteil Altenessen Süd hat es hingenommen, das an der Gladbecker Straße Penner, Junkies und Alkoholiker angesiedelt werden. Das ich, auch als Ex-Obdachloser, mal ganz kurz darauf hingewiesen habe, das Beschaffungskriminalität und Infektionskrankheiten, wie zum Beispiel Krätze oder Tuberkulose, dadurch auch hier auf die Zivilbevölkerung losgelassen wurden, war scheinbar Euch allen egal.

Simple Logik, weil man seine Kumpanei ja gerne mal fortsetzt und sowohl Kriminelle, als auch Desperados, eben gerne mal in der Gruppe auftauchen. Es gibt nicht nur Einzeltäter bzw. Einzeltäterinnen.

Wenn man jetzt schon für eine einzelne Zigarette oder Kleingeld in der Tasche mit einem Raubüberfall rechnen darf, sabotiert das schon ein ganz kleines Bisschen die Lebensqualität. Weil das Risiko bleibt, selbst wenn einzelne Kriminelle verhaftet wurden.

Mir persönlich ist völlig egal, das am Kiosk Ecke Gladbecker Straße und Bäuminghausstr. Suffkranke gerne mal herumlungern, wenn es nicht zu kalt ist. Dealer auf den U-Bahn Treppen haben mich auch echt noch nie provoziert oder belästigt. Doch es bedeutet halt auch, das man da Leute dabeihat, die Krankheiten mit sich rumschleppen. Oder mal in Versuchung kommen, mit der Waffe einzukaufen, anstatt sich auf Notwehr zu beschränken.

Vor dem Kiosk Gladbecker Straße und Hövelstraße kann man auch gelegentlich angepöbelt werden und in dunkler Nacht fand mich schon jemand „so spannend“, das er mir verhüllt nachlaufen wollte, obwohl er gerade noch im Gespräch mit nem Kumpel war. Auf verlassener Straße finstere Gestalten im Rücken zu haben ist zwar an sich noch nicht bedrohlich, doch auch ich denke da erst an Selbstschutz und danach an Völkerverständigung und Weltfrieden.

Als ich dies schrieb war Januar 2017 und ich war 44 Jahre alt. Durch Armut kann ich nicht einfach umziehen und durch gesundheitliche Grenzen mag ich nicht noch mal obdachlos durch Essen wandern (weil die Meldepflicht einen örtlich etwas bindet).

Ich mochte Vollkontakt-Kampfsport als ich jünger war und ich mag bewaffnete Kampfkünste noch heute. Doch ich bin nicht wirklich geil darauf, mich mit jedem Kriminellen auf der Straße anlegen zu müssen, nur weil mein rasiertes Köpfchen die Wüstenvölker wieder was von Nazis faseln lässt. Und übrigens wärt Ihr in Deutschland ausgerottet, wenn die Mehrheit „von uns Deutschen“ wirklich noch so gesinnt wäre. Wir sind keine Nazis, wir sind Bürger und Bürgerinnen, die hier in diesem verdreckten Stadtteil leben müssen, weil wir nicht reich genug sind, es an bessere Orte zu schaffen!

Da man die Hoffnung nie aufgeben soll (warum, macht der Staat doch auch mit uns) liste ich mal einige LINKS, die den wenigen Zurechnungsfähigen vor Ort evtl. beim Überleben helfen können:

Tarot & Initiation, one note revised…

Tarot-Occult Note, Lang-8 corrected

© Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved

Tarot is conceptually portrayed as the ‘toy-version’ of real hermetic magick. While Satanism, Shamanism, Wicca, and many other occult ideologies, along with their pseudos, claim a much better understanding of this magick… Reality has proven that it can challenge everyone, and my occult notes were never about money, nor about seeking attention, aka indulged narcissism.

I consider the triumph of my stalkers to be a beneficial side-effect, as it knocked me into urban homelessness. My ordeal in making it back to a stable lifestyle resulted in my final departure from the occult, and renewed focus on the reality of living.

More than two decades of practice never gave me any appreciated results, when attempting to pursue my own, ego-focused goals. This reminds me of a note which said that finding a woman to die for is much easier than finding a woman worth living with, as it involves voluntary sacrifices from both…

I have a final note for practicing Occultists: Is the Magician-High Priestess, as potential-indicating personality aspect, really the best possible mix? Of course not. It highly depends on who you are, and how your existence is defined by reality. Furthermore, especially in Magick, from where the majority of Instant-Magi & Black Magicians spawn forth, people should know and admit that every card is equally powerful in context, and that the “rest” depends on how skilled we are in making use of them.

Summary: Real Initiation is a development-process which brain, mind, and central nervous system have to run through. There are no cheats, nor fully functional short-cuts. Considering the fact that nobody begins to practice while in the womb, it is impossible to develop an adept worth entitling as such in less than ten years of training, meditation, and study. These ten years would include absolutely no distractions by one’s job, desires, family, or anything else! Henceforth a typical adept, who lives in the western democracies, requires 12 to 20 years to become an independent magus-spawn-mystic-whatever in both theory AND practical competences! Of course my chosen definition is above the traditional-hermetic “adeptus minor”, who is an adept in name mostly, a glorified lackey or indoctrinated follower, without any real individual advancement. One should also note that neither achievements, nor prudent book reciting, alone transform anyone into a minor adept. Logically, it is a practical and empirical self-transformation. It needs the training, study, and years of meditation to overcome the submissive-to-tradition-defined approaches. And if your life has no need for it, then it was just an esoteric-exoteric waste of time and effort!

The improvements made were due the help over at http://lang-8.com/ and the helpful translator was Zurich899 at http://lang-8.com/1540550