Adult Dystopian Fairy Tales – The battle for Cologne
© Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved
Let me first write the verification that this is fiction. Further it is just about an antiquated religion, and not about Faith in God. Nor is it a challenge to any God, Mortal, or Devil. All characters and places are twisted into a Dystopian setting.
On a certain day, not very long ago, in a place most people simply know as Hell, something rare happened. The Devil prayed to God. No declaration of war, not another attempt to rape God and call it Love. Just a prayer, actually a quite short and desperate one.
Devil: “God Almighty, when I went for you in that minor Luciferian rebellion I did it one on one, so deliver me from the pestering sermon of these two mortals, who were dumped here by you. Nema!” And while praying the Devil’ wrathful eyes fell once more on Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin, who had not even noticed the Devil stopped listening, as they continued their hotheaded dispute.
God, flawless, infinite, and almighty, decided to be merciful and just on the request, as he had always been with creation, and even though the occasional believer was over come by doubts. He looked at a hellhole so lost in degeneration, infidelity, and unworthiness that it could only be saved by God’s mercy, or deserved to be devoured by the Devil itself. And to comfort readers: God certainly knows that ‘Nema’ is ‘amen spelled backwards’, as the Devil has some minor limitations since its imprisonment.
And so it came that the city of Cologne, in the middle of Europe, actually in a Spiritual-Third-World country called Germany, gained a bonus chance at salvation, redemption, or damnation by individual choice and deeds.
Grateful for the merciful God’s offer the Devil watched ‘his self-anointed two generals’ stop pestering the Devil itself, and instead returning to the egomaniac megalomania which actually was the root of their eternal damnation.
The Almighty had cast the dice, and now the Catholic Church or mankind would pay the price!
Fair beyond doubt, and in this case even without the ever-failing sabotage-attempts of the Devil and by the Devil, every mortal was given the chance to choose his or her side, and God granted them a simple but flawless understanding of this spiritual soccer game of sorts.
Triumphant Adolf Hitler recited: “Pride is a weapon, and in Cologne the Sodomites are Legion, the gays and lesbians will bring the Catholics down in a single, lightning quick series of strikes!”
Belittling Joseph Stalin glared at that competing impostor, and foretold: “How naive, you fell for the superficial, easy shortcut again, not for the might of a real solution. Science is what believers and unbelievers depend on by now, and be it only to make a living, so my army will be the army of Unbelievers who turn on others and themselves in the name of their academic godhead!”
Unshaken the Bishop of Cologne stated: “We have sold letters of indulgence, had priests more perverted than the Devil itself, and still survived twenty centuries with ease. We can and will resist those Sodomites and Scientists, until we assimilate or overcome them!”
And so the uneasy alliance of the Sodomite Empire and the Godless Science prepared to lay siege to the holy ground, which served as a clear measure who was progressing at any given time. If the Sodomites or Godless Scientists would manage to get full access to the Dome of Cologne, then the Catholic Church would have lost. But if the Catholic Faith would resist them for a certain amount of time, then their onslaught lacked Faith and Might, and would be considered a loss instead.
And a decade passed, with threats, disinformation, sexual harassment, abuse, and violation, doubts, crisis, and exhaustion colliding with goodwill, self-preservation, honest faith, confidence, hope and conviction. Thousands lost their ways and beliefs, even more were so marked by the front-line experiences that they longed for certain Death!
Still all went silent, when God wanted his announcement to be known. For one instance even the Devil itself wondered what was to come…
As a reward for dutifully snatching his two generals, ensuring they won’t escape the hell they had earned themselves, the Devil was allowed to compare with his competitor on the holy ground it could not enter since “that incident”.
And so the Bishop and the Devil looked at each other, fears and doubts washed away by their faith or conviction, and ensured that each other had received the same divine message.
“Rematch?” asked one of the two.
“Rematch!” verified the other.
For God, in his infinite wisdom, would never exclude us late readers from those who can earn their own salvation, redeem themselves, or condemn themselves to Hell.